How to Really Listen in Business (and Life)

It seems that in front of a client, many professionals forget that speaking is only half of the communication equation.  Talking without listening is really just noise.  

Whether in life or business, a good conversation needs folks to take turns speaking and listening.  When both try talking at the same time, the communication process breaks dow and a tug of war ensues.  If the speaker never allows a response form the receiver, a monolouge, rather than a conversation has taken place.  Remember, a monologue isn't an effective way to sell anything, or build a professional relationship.  

The goal of the communication process is mutual understanding that strengthens the personal and professional bond:  For a sales professiona the result of such a mutual understanding is often a sale, for a physician it's a happier patient with a potential for better outcomes, for the office manager it results in a more efficient group of employees

So how do we improve our communication to get to this mutual understanding? Well, on the job we interact with co-workers, customers and their staff. As a rep I might do some talking and a lot of listening. In fact, I feel like I'm a pretty good listener. But is it possible to improve my listening skills still further? Can I learn to really listen and can that skill improve both my sales efforts and personal life? The first step in that process is understanding some key areas and putting them into practice.

First, it's important to realize that listening is a skill separate from the physical act of hearing. Being able to hear someone may have little to do with actually listening. Hearing is simply the process of taking in the spoken sound. Listening is so much more.

As a society we pay attention to great speakers, politicians, and stand-up comics. Has a great listener ever got a standing ovation? Does a great listener garner kudos. Not really, yet they should. Text books define effective listening as the means by which a thought is received from a speaker, and the true meaning is discerned. The receiver then must respond to the message to reflect understanding. It's that "true meaning" that is the hitch. Sometimes it seems like our clients are speaking in code. They say yes, but never follow with a purchase order. They nod, agree, voice thoughts, but we keep missing that big sale. What is the true meaning behind what they are telling us? You need to listen to find that out!

Tomorrow: "One of the best ways to persuade others is to listen to them." -Dean Rusk

Note:  The thoughts and opinions on Training Wheels are my own, unless otherwise referenced, and are to be food for thought.  If contemplating business changes, these blog posts are not a substitute for consulting your lawyer or accountant. I"ll bet you already figured that out, didn't you?