Communicating in Non-Verbals: or as Mom said, “Don’t give me that look!”

After we think about what we want to say, how can we teach our teams to avoid miscommunication as they begin to share messages? At first introduction we make assumptions about who we meet within the first five to seven seconds, often before a word has been spoken. This may sound prejudicial, but every human being does it. These initial impressions are perceptual biases, or in other words, the shortcuts necessary to organize data. Invariably, these shortcuts introduce prejudice into our daily communication. Some of the negative shortcuts include stereotyping, projection, and self-fulfilling prophecies. 

Stereotyping is the most common perceptual bias, and is the assumption that a person has certain characteristics based on the ethnic, social or geographic group to which they belong. This occurs without validating that the individual or group, in fact, has these characteristics. Interestingly, this bias can also alter the manner in which the speaker presents information, as they too may be guilty of stereotyping.

While you can't alter a listener's previous experiences (projection), or if, like you, their ex-husband had red hair and a beard (distortions from the past), you can take steps to help that a first impression be a positive one. For most individuals of North American or European cultures eye contact, a warm smile and offering a handshake, if appropriate, can increase an individual's positive first impression rate. More will be discussed later about the cultural differences with regard to greetings, personal space and eye contact.

As mentioned earlier, the verbal portion of a message actually means less than what is not said (only about 7% of a person's message consists of words). The non-verbal segment of communication includes such things as body language and tone, but is also made up of sight, touch, volume and the use of time and space. The sight aspect of non-verbal communication includes all that is visual. Eye contact, facial expression, hand gestures and posture are examples of what is commonly called "body language".

Eye contact is one of the key ways humans and animals interpret intent. Holding a gaze too long is found intimidating or excessively intimate, while shifting one's eyes away from the gaze of another is found to be untrustworthy. This is why wearing dark sunglasses are frequently found to be disconcerting when one is attempting to communicate.
 
While reading body language was all the rage in the Seventies, we can easily misread non-verbal cues especially when communicating with individuals from different cultures. Crossing your arms in front of your chest is a sure sign of hostility, right? Or does it mean that you are cold?

Gestures may mean something very different from one culture to another. President George W. Bush found this to be the case in his January 2005 inauguration. While cheering on a Texas marching band, he gave the "Hook 'em Horns" gesture popular at the state's university. Unfortunately, the three-fingered hand sign is representative of devil worship in Norway and other Scandinavian countries. Another example of such confusion includes the common nod. In American culture one shows agreement by making the head go up and down. However, in India, to say" yes" a person moves their head from side-to-side. A patient or co-worker, even if they speak perfect English, may be perceived as providing a negative answer due to their body language, while they were agreeing all along.

Additionally, humans look to posture to provide clues about a speaker. Does the posture indicate self-confidence, aggression, fear, or anxiety? Gestures such as how we hold our hands, move them while speaking, or a handshake, also provide further indications of intent. For example, when interacting with a patient from an Arab country it would be preferable to not cross one's legs, or show the sole of the shoe, as that is considered the height of rudeness. Unintentional gestures may alter a patient's perception of a clinician's professionalism. No business professional is expected to be aware of every nuance, but observing a customer's or colleague's response to certain movements could be helpful. Remember, many gestures are culturally bound and susceptible to easy misinterpretation.

Tomorrow: Body Language. Not just for the dance floor anymore!


Note:  The thoughts and opinions on Training Wheels are my own, unless otherwise referenced, and are to be food for thought.  If contemplating business changes, these blog posts are not a substitute for consulting your lawyer or accountant. I"ll bet you already figured that out, didn't you?